


But Baby It's Cold Outside

by Magalalets



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, Baby It's Cold Outside, Christmas Fluff, Emotional/Psychological Abuse (implied), Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Happy Ending, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Modern AU, One Shot, Pining, Slow Build, Songfic, the dialogue is based on the lyrics, with a bit of - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-25
Updated: 2016-12-25
Packaged: 2018-09-12 05:20:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,288
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9057259
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Magalalets/pseuds/Magalalets
Summary: In which John really can't stay, but Alex is determined to not let him walk out the door because it's too cold outside.





	

**Author's Note:**

> A Christmas fic for all your holiday needs ft. your favorite revolutionaries and the most controversial Christmas song. All the dialogue is based on Idina Menzel and Michael Buble's version of Baby It's Cold Outside which is the sweetest version I could ever hope for. Happy holidays everyone!

“I really can't stay.” His voice rang out in the still, comfortable atmosphere. It broke through the warmth between the two men curled up on opposite sides of the small couch and made a frown twist at his lips. He averted his eyes from Alex, not daring to look at the enticing gaze he was giving him for he knew that his will would buckle as soon as he saw those eyes. 

Quickly John put his glass on the coffee table and pushed himself up from the worn couch cushions. He felt himself stagger as he straightened, yet he continued to move towards the door. Suddenly he felt a warm hand grasp onto his and he quickly turned around to meet Alexander’s form. He stood mere inches away from John, closer than they had been when sitting. John tried to look anywhere but at the other man’s face, letting his eyes roam Alex’s cluttered floor where mounds of textbooks were stacked. The action was done in vain, however, as he felt Alex's hand leave his and carefully raise his chin up to meet his gaze. 

“But baby it's cold outside.” Alex’s voice was almost a whisper when he spoke, sending a shiver up John’s spine. He turned around quickly to hide the deep blush on his freckled cheeks at the pet name Alex gave him and could practically feel Alex grinning smugly behind him. 

“I gotta go away,” John began another weak protest and started to the door, but this time Alex was quick to follow him. 

“But baby it's cold outside,” he reiterated stepping between John and the door with a grin. John’s insides turned as he glanced up at the smirk breaking Alex’s cheeks. He knew he was not supposed to be here after dark, it was against his father’s wishes, yet it seemed John always had a soft spot for Alex.

This time John started with something a bit more ambiguous to divert Alex from creating a defense. It was a hard feat, however, as he was trying to argue with a lawyer. 

“This evening has been,” John felt himself pause as he searched for the correct word. He and Alex were friends, but John wasn't oblivious to Alex’s flirting and he would be lying if he said he didn't enjoy it. Maybe that conclusion was just the alcohol in his system talking though.

It had been early in the week when Alex had invited him over for drinks on the following Friday saying they both needed a break. John was surprised, to say the least, as it was a known fact to anyone who knew Alex for more than a few minutes that he didn't exactly take breaks. Alex hadn't stopped working since they first met three years ago as first-year university students and with finals coming up for the both of them, John thought he might not hear from the other until after Christmas. Of course he checked in on him, but this was the busiest time of the year and John couldn't risk taking much time to relish in the others company either. John was too shocked at the time to go over the consequences of hanging out with Alex, however, so he simply agreed with butterflies in his stomach and a blush on his cheeks.

 

“Been hoping that you'd drop in.” Alex countered as if he hadn't heard John. A soft smile graced John’s cheeks at his words, but it was broken when the other man moved in closer and he remembered his initial intention of leaving.

“So very nice.” John finally found the words he was looking for and averted his eyes in search of his coat and hat. He found them on a small wooden chair across the room and caught Alex following his gaze towards them. Before he could move to grab them Alex snatched both of his hands and spun him in the opposite direction back towards the couch.

 

“I'll hold your hands, they're just like ice.” John felt a laugh roll of his lips at the action which was common between the two of them. Alex’s hands were always warm (John joked that it was because he moved them too much) and John’s were always frozen, so Alex would take them into his own to ”heat them up”. This definitely was the only purpose for this action, not anything on the romantic side.

“My father will start to worry,” John spoke as he let himself be pulled towards the couch. Alex suddenly stopped and John stumbled towards him so that their chests pressed together. He felt Alex’s hand pushing softly against his chest and John drew in a shaky breath at their proximity, cursing his slow reaction time. Alex stared up at him with his wide dark eyes and John gulped, not daring to glance down any further. 

“Beautiful what's your hurry?” Alex tucked a stray curl behind John’s ear with a slight nervousness to his actions. John’s breath quickened when he felt Alex lean in towards him and his eyes landed on Alex’s pink lips. He wondered how it would feel to press his own against them and move at a languid pace as if they had all the time in the world.

Both men flinched at the sound of something clattering to the floor in the apartment next door, easily heard through Alex’s thin walls. How could he have thought he was going to kiss Alex as if it was a common action? They were friends, best friends at that, and they had been for years now, he couldn't just break that on an impulsive choice. Aside from that, no matter how much of a liberal he was and how common his views seemed when he was with his friends, his family still did not hold these views. He already would be scolded by his father for staying out in the middle of a snowstorm when finals were around the corner, let alone staying out with a boy. 

“My father will be pacing the floor.” John insisted, turning his back on the man in front of him that he so evidently wanted and pretended not to see his eyes dim for a moment. He made his way over to the chair and grabbed both his coat and hat off of the back, before starting to put them on. As soon as the wool fabric of his toque was drawn over his curls, he felt it leave and he whipped around to see Alex grinning up at him.

“Listen to that fireplace roar.” John rolled his eyes at Alex’s dramatic gesture to the small fire blooming in the coals and stole his hat back out of his hands. It was beyond John why Alex had a fireplace if he could barely get it to burn, but still, John lit it for him every time he was over. Alex always mentioned how nice of an atmosphere it gave off and John couldn't exactly say he was wrong when he saw the orange glow outlining Alex's sharp features.

Another thing that John was not oblivious to was the fact that Alex was attractive. When they first met Alex had had a fling with one of the sweetest humans he had ever met, Eliza Schuyler, and John would be damned if he didn’t say he wanted to hate her. She was all too kind and sympathetic to John with any problems he had, no matter how simple the solution, so he supposed it wouldn’t be right to not befriend her. She and Alex didn’t last for long, only a few months at most, deciding it was better if they remained friends, but that was enough time for John to subdue his attractions. 

Since this semester had started, though, John could almost feel them peeking back up in the form of a childlike crush. It was embarrassing, but also near exhausting. He couldn’t confide much in his friends because low and behold they were mutually Alex’s friends too, and he would be damned if he ever spoke a word of it to his siblings. His only decisions could be based on what his own conscience was telling him, and in that moment it felt like it was splitting into two parts. He definitely shouldn’t have drunk anything.

“So really I’d better scurry.” John continued to object to Alex all the way towards the door as the other man clutched at his arm dragging him back. John had placed his palm on the doorknob and turned back around to give Alex one last goodbye when he saw him looking at him with those deep brown eyes once again. They were simply alluring and left John wondering why he had wanted to leave in the first place. 

“Beautiful please don't hurry.” Alex’s words were too soft, too kind and vulnerable. John was backed into a corner.

He felt himself sigh before muttering a reply of, “maybe just a half a drink more.”

Alex's eyes lit up at this and John couldn't help but feel like he was drowning under his gaze. He didn't object when Alex slipped his coat off his shoulders and let his fingers linger on his arms just a bit too long. John felt suddenly more dazed than he had seconds before and blindly followed Alex towards the living room.

“I’ll put some records on while I pour.” Alex looked back at John with a gentle gaze, taking his hand and leading him to sit on the couch. John yelped when Alex abruptly pushed his shoulders sending him flying into the cushions with a snort of laughter. He huffed at the other and dramatically pouted at him when Alex danced away on the balls of his feet to grab more beer from the fridge, but could not find himself looking away. He followed the sway of Alex’s hips until he was out of sight and then groaned, wondering if Alex knew just what he was doing. He leaned his head against the back of the couch and drew in calculated deep breaths while staring at the stained ceiling. He was just hanging out with Alex, they did this every other week, it was no big deal.  
Alex came back into the room moments later with four bottles in his arms and grinned cheekily at John’s raised eyebrows. Without answering, he set down the armload on the couch and turned to the old wooden record player on the mantelpiece which he eyed with a slight hesitance before deciding to place the arm against the disk. There was a short vibration of scratches, then smooth jazz music emitted from the box, filling the apartment with music that John had connected with Alex at this point. John simply chuckled at this and grabbed the beer from beside him as Alex sat down, almost on top of his leg. His eyes shot towards the other, but Alex gave him a look of pure innocence and John couldn’t help it when he felt his cheeks redden. 

A few hours and two trips back to the refrigerator later, John found himself staring at the clock on the wall, attempting to decipher the time. It had to have been well into the evening by now, and he surely was supposed to be home hours ago, but Alexander Hamilton had a way of making you forget things like that. The man had just done a rendition of a Christmas song that John could not recall moments before and had stumbled through the lyrics to the tune of John’s laughter. At the final chord, Alex had taken it upon himself to dramatically drape his body across John’s legs and pushed as close as he could manage into his lower stomach. John giggled at this then absentmindedly ran his fingers through the layers of his black hair.

“You're very pushy, you know.” John could hear the slur in his words and somewhere in his mind, his conscience cringed harshly. Alex lazily pulled his head off of John’s sweater and stared up at him for a moment with a smile on his lips. 

“I'd like to think of it as opportunistic,” Alex mumbled, content to lay in John’s warmth without any guilt or hesitation. John had finally managed to decipher the time, however, and realized with a start that it was verging on midnight. Slowly panic clouded inside him, pushing its way to the front of his thoughts without mercy and he felt his eyes widen. He needed some kind of excuse to be able to get out the door without harshly burning whatever was budding between the two of them. Naturally, John spoke the first words that came to his mind.

“The neighbors might think,” He prompted, gaining only a spark of laughter from Alex that no matter how melodic it sounded, was not what he had hoped for. John drew his hand out of Alex’s hair and pushed Alex’s shoulder so he would sit up, 

“Baby it’s bad out there,” Alex replied without looking out the window, instead choosing to lock eyes with John. He pushed himself up, but instead of moving off John like the man had hoped for so he could think again, he moved into his lap. John held back a whine when Alex placed his head on his shoulder and nuzzled his nose into his neck, even though a shiver ran along his skin causing goosebumps to rise. Alex only threw him a wink and nuzzled in further so his hands clasped John’s sweater. It suddenly felt way too hot in there.

“Say was that a wink?” John questioned meekly, barely breathing out the words before Alex replied with an equally soft tone into his skin. 

“No cabs to be had out there.” John supposed at this point Alex was doing it all for show, but it was driving him senseless. Everything in him was telling him to just give in to Alex, to stay, but one small voice in the back of his mind screamed at him to go, that whatever they were doing was wrong. Then he felt Alex’s lips gently press against the skin on his neck, so light he wasn’t sure if it had happened, and he never knew how he could possibly hate something so nice. 

“I wish I knew how,” John’s voice was breathless when he spoke, not even meaning to say the words aloud, and he felt Alex’s body vibrate with a giggle. Alex pushed himself up to stare into John’s eyes which were half lidded and slightly bloodshot. In a swift motion, he grabbed John’s cheeks, squeezing his face so slightly that John felt the need to hold his breath, all acts of continuing what he was going to say gone.

 

“Your eyes are like starlight,” Alex stated looking at John as if he was holding up the sky for him. John blushed a deep red under his freckles and made to move away, but Alex held his face steady.

“To break this spell,” John added on the words as an afterthought to what his original point was, and saw a grin form on Alex’s face at his words. John had no doubt now that Alex knew he had him wrapped around his finger from the start anyway, but now John had admitted it. He saw something flash in Alex’s eyes before he caught his gaze wander upwards and he reached his hand up towards John’s face. Instinctively John flinched, then he realized that Alex’s hand was going straight to his head where he promptly took of John’s hat.

“I’ll take your hat,” John giggled at the fact that both of them forgot it was on there before Alex added with a laugh “your hair looks swell.” John's hands quickly flew towards his curls in embarrassment but Alex already was flattening this stray pieces when they got there. He flattened the top as if he was practically petting his curls, then worked his way down to the curly ponytail resting at the nape of John's neck. Alex toyed at the elastic, raising his eyebrows at John in slight question, however, John was distracted by the mere motion and didn't think to nod until the elastic was being pulled out. He sighed contentedly at the action, letting his head fall back into Alex’s hand.

“I ought to get home for,” John paused when his hair sprung free, the corkscrew curls tumbling over his shoulders. Alex wasted no time dragging his fingers gently through the mess earning a soft hum of satisfaction from John. “Dinner,” John barely mumbled the word with the realization that it was well past his family's supper time. That was one thing the Laurens’ never missed unless it was for a valid reason and he supposed hooking up with his best friend was not on that list. 

Alex had placed his face in the crook of his neck once again and was messing with John's curls absentmindedly. He stared at John with parted lips and hazy eyes before turning his lips onto the soft skin of John's shoulder. A small moan slipped his lips in surprise, mouth parting in shock of Alex’s bold actions and he tried to hold himself steady as to not let his head fall backwards and allow the other man more. He felt Alex’s lips start to trail kisses up his neck and reach almost to his jaw when he stopped, tracing his fingers over the sharp line.

“Mind if I move in closer?” John felt a pang in his chest at the considerate words that were said; Alex even had a slight tilt of his head. He looked helpless, exactly how John felt, but the words gave John a perfect leeway to leave Alex’s warmth. 

Forcing down the burning regret that tasted like bile in the back of his throat, he gently pushed Alex back and stood up. This sent Alex’s legs toppling to the floor with a bang, and John felt guilt already pool inside him at the whimper Alex gave. He didn't look back at him, instead grabbing his hat off the coffee table and looking around wildly for his coat. John knew Alex was drunk, he was also drunk himself, so there was a possibility that Alex didn't want this. Maybe it was the alcohol that made them both feel too confident for their own good and attempt to play out forbidden fantasies with the other. Or was that just John? 

“It's time for me to cast you aside.” This was for the best anyway. They wouldn't speak again until after Christmas, and they wouldn't have enough time to discuss this night if they did speak before. Who knew if Alex would even remember his brash actions, or John going along with them. There was one voice in John's head screaming that he wouldn't and another hoping that he might.

Alex had hopped up while John was in a trance and reached him just as he was about to shove his hat over his curls and stole it from his hands. They still tingled with the feeling of Alex's fingers running across them as did his neck which he prayed would not welt up to show the marks. John reached out to grab the hat from Alex but he flung his arm backwards so it was out of his reach.

“What's the sense in hurting my pride?” Alex questioned with an air of sarcasm, but underneath that John could hear his seriousness. He stopped for a moment to ponder over the fact that at this point it barely mattered what time he got in. At this point there was no difference between midnight and a few hours directly past that, so would it hurt him to stay a little longer? It might hurt his conscience a bit, however, he was always driven by impulse and chose more reckless decisions than rational ones. John supposed this was just another reckless decision to add to his list.

“I really can't stay.” Though he spoke the words, they didn't have the previous amount of effort behind them, instead said with a toothy smile on his lips. Alex’s eyes grew wide at this and his entire face lit up at the realization of what John's words meant. 

“Baby don't hold out,” Alex replied, jokingly poking John in the side which he jumped at before falling into a fit of giggles. Alex smiled down at him and made a point to offer John his arm which John gladly took, grasping onto the knit material of Alex’s jumper.

“Baby it's cold outside.” John mimicked Alex’s previous words with a glance at him and he threw him back a smirk. It would be hard to go anywhere with the storm beating down, and even though it was New York he had a slim chance at finding a drive on a night like this.

With rosy cheeks, John moved towards the record player as Alex watched him curiously, still close by his side. He bent down, carefully untangling himself from Alex’s grasp to search through the pile of beaten up records in a pile on the floor. Many of them had been released decades ago, and others were in foreign languages, but at the top of the pile was a dirty white case with the words “Christmas Music 2” written in a messy scrawl. John grabbed the case and bounced up, offering it to Alex with a gleam in his eyes. Alex, in turn, raised his eyebrows at him, but John only gave him a timid smile. It was a blatantly romantic gesture, and an overly cheesy one at that, however, Alex didn’t seem to mind as he switched the disks on the machine and music flooded the apartment. Alex faced back towards him with a controlled seriousness as if he was holding back a laugh and stuck out his hand with the air of a royal figure. 

“Monsieur, may I?” John chuckled to himself at the ridiculousness of Alex’s accent and the other eyed him with delight. John edged his chin in the air in the same prestigious manner Alex had, taking his outstretched hand with a new ease.

“But of course.” 

Without hesitation John slid his arms around Alex’s waist as Alex pulled him close, letting the beat guide them across the floor. They were messy and their footsteps contrasted the smooth voices of the singers, but John supposed it didn’t matter. He caught Alex humming along to the tune, eyes fluttered shut and could practically feel his heart swell as he pulled him nearer. John’s mind was blissfully numb with the thought that this was real, and he was here, and that for one time in his life a reckless choice might have paid off.

Therefore, he couldn’t help but mutter as Alex rested his head on his shoulder “I simply must go.” He smiled when Alex only rolled his eyes at him and lightly shook his head.

“Baby it’s cold outside.” At this point he practically whined the words, tightening his grip around John’s torso so he couldn’t escape his grasp. John sighed and tilted Alex’s head up gently with his thumb so he would look at him directly.This was a mistake on John’s part as Alex caught what he was doing before he was moved and placed a look on his face that could only be named as puppy dog eyes. John paused, blinking forcefully to get control of himself once again but this was all the time Alex needed to snake his hand up under John’s curls to his fingers rested along the back of his neck.

“Thanks for the show,” John murmured under his breath, but Alex caught the words and smirked up at him.

“Baby it’s cold outside,” Alex repeated, gently beginning to move to the music once more, eyes not leaving John’s for a moment. Hesitantly, John leaned in to rest his forehead against Alex’s, eyes fluttering softly at the contact. John had no intentions of moving from Alex’s tight embrace, however, his words still reflected the part of his mind that vowed he would retreat.

“The welcome has been,” John began, but was left interrupted by an affirmation from Alexander’s part that he wouldn’t have heard had he been only a few inches further away.

“How lucky that you dropped in.” His tone was dreamy, and much unlike his usual eloquently crafted phrases that would spring up in their everyday conversations. The smile that came up on John’s lips was all teeth at this. Even if this night never worked out in John’s favor, he would still have in his mind the moment that Alexander Hamilton actually seemed vulnerable.

“So nice and warm,” John finished, gripping Alex’s arm a bit tighter to steady himself when he accidentally stepped on his toe. He pulled his head back quickly, feeling heat rise up his ears, but Alex only chuckled and spun them towards the window. 

"Look out the widow at that storm," Alex said, his outline reflecting off the dusty window pane ahead of them. The snow was raining down in cotton ball flakes taking their time on their journey to the ground below. John could feel himself shiver at the slight breeze the window pane gave off and Alex tugged him into his side so their hips pressed together. He knew his will was caving, every bone in his body rooted him to the apartment, however, he did have a few doubts. Therefore John began to create a list.

“My sister will be suspicious,” John stated, keeping his eyes trained on the city skyline in front of them. It was truly breathtaking; each building etched in white snow and golden twinkling lights, though, nothing could compare to the man under his arm, so warm he gave enough heat for the both of them. Fuck John was in too deep.

“Gosh your lips look delicious,” Alex hummed, almost as though he never even realized he was speaking the words aloud. John stole a glance down at him but turned his eyes back to the night after seeing the gaze Alex was fixing him with. He didn't really believe in God, however, he felt it was only right to send a silent prayer to whoever was out there that he wouldn't do something he'd regret.

It was the Christmas season, maybe Santa would help him out.

John shook his head to clear his incoherent thoughts and added on to his list with “My brother will be pacing the floor.”

All of his four younger siblings had been curious about where he was running off to that night, each showing their respective signs. Martha being the eldest, trusted him enough to wish him a good night, albeit being a bit skeptical when he mentioned he was just going to a friend's apartment. He suspected she knew that he was gay after living with him all her life, so when he saw her eyes light up when he affirmed it was a guy's apartment, he wasn't surprised. She never spoke a word to him about it, though, and he wasn't going to come right out and say the words to her, so the fact of the matter was kept quiet. He hadn't been home in a few months as he stayed in a dorm room for the school year and he couldn't give a good judgment on how fast word traveled in the Lauren's household. From previous experiences, however, it was best if no one knew he was gay so there was no chance his father would find out.

On the other hand, his younger siblings had been more than obvious with their well-placed questions on his whereabouts. John supposed the boys had put Mary Eleanor up to it, but when she asked him if he was having a one night stand, he was a bit shell-shocked. After a moment's hesitation, he thoroughly assured her that “no, he definitely was not, and don’t say those words again Ellie”, even though she was still curious. 

Now he was starting to think that he might have been wrong because that's exactly what it was looking like. Of course, he wanted Alex, but he wanted more than that. He wanted messy 8am mornings when they had to help each other down the hall and going to the grocery store at 2am just because they needed cookies more than they needed oxygen. He wanted snowball fights ending in laughing fits, then curling up on the couch and making out over the sound of cheesy Christmas movies. 

John paused, squeezed his eyes shut and pulled in a deep breath. Hold for four, out for seven. He was on his third pint and was still too sober for this.

His attention snapped back to Alex when he felt him turning his curls between his fingers and humming contentedly. John couldn't help but smile at this and Alex’s soft words which had started to return to his normal lilt. “Like waves upon a tropical shore,” he breathed between parted lips. John looked at him breathlessly, begging that he would just close the gap between them already, but seconds later the moment was gone. Alex had retreated back to the place by his side, still attached to his hip, though far enough away that John remembered he was trying to create a list.

“Mary Eleanor’s mind is vicious.” A burst of laughter tumbled off Alex’s lips at John's point; a very true one at that. Ever since they first met John had come to Alex after each break with stories of how Ellie had wanted to discuss this or discovered that this was a thing. John knew that he would have to let the pair meet at some point, he was sure they would get along just fine. For every question Ellie asked, Alex would have an answer and several follow up questions to counter it.

John looked down at Alex when he noticed that the boy had moved so they're faces were next to each other. He felt drawn to Alex’s lips and leaned in closer when he saw the other boy’s part ever so slightly. John’s eyes fluttered shut for a second, which was how long Alex’s lips were on his before he had moved back to his side. John fell after him.

“Gosh your lips are delicious,” Alex whispered, breathless from only just brushing his lips against John's. John could see where he was coming from as he was itching to pin Alex against the window and kiss him senseless, however, there was still some self-control holding him back thankfully.

Instead, John opted to say the words, “maybe just another dance more.”

To which Alex mumbled in reply, his eyes on the window, “never such a blizzard before.”

There seemed to be an elephant in the room, an unspoken truth that neither were confident to go after but neither wanted to back away from quite yet. John's skin burned at every inch that Alex’s own body was against him. He felt like he needed to laugh, or cry, or maybe even punch a wall. Too many emotions were overworking his system and he knew that if he stayed in the position he was in he would potentially combust. He figured Alex wouldn't want to clean his remains off the floor, therefore he pulled out of Alex’s grasp enough to hold him at an arm's length.

“I've got to get home.” John forced the words out of his lips, brushing a hair back from Alex’s eyes while he spoke.

“Baby you'll freeze out there,” Alex countered holding John's hand delicately against the curve of his cheekbone. John could feel the man relax into his palm, his breathing soft and slow as if he was content enough to sleep.

“So toss me my coat.” John chuckled when Alex jumped at the words, but he only just looked up at John with a sly grin. Confusion struck John’s features when Alex didn't reply for a second, however, it was answered when he felt Alex’s hand on his thigh.

“It's up to your knees out there.” John sucked in a sharp breath when his hand crawled up words, unfocused eyes dilating at the motion. His lips were parted as he watched Alex with bated breath not daring to move an inch. A whine was brimming at the edge of his lips and to save his dignity he slipped his fingers through Alex's. He blinked back at John, verging on the point of asking him if everything was alright, but John quelled his fears quickly.

“You've really been grand,” His fingers were still locked with Alex's at his side, icy against the other’s palm.

“I thrill when I touch your hand,” Alex said, bringing John’s knuckles to his lips to kiss the back. John couldn't help but chuckle at the outdated romantic gesture. It would have been sweet had they been in a ballroom high off the sweet perfume intoxicating the room, however, it was past midnight in Alex’s shoebox of an apartment and they were drunk off cheap beer. John shook his head fondly at Alex, pulling his hand back in the process.

“Don't you see,” John said with a smile, not trying to keep it from slipping onto his face. Instead of Alex returning the gesture as John would have guessed, he groaned exasperatedly, throwing his hands through his black hair. John jumped back a bit at the change in attitude as if someone had flicked a switch in Alex’s brain. He was no longer playing this out as if it was a game, which meant John couldn't dare to do the same.

“How can you do this thing to me,” Alex mumbled the words, not meaning any harm by them towards the other, but the feeling still rested behind them. John could see a sort of desperation creeping it's way into the other’s eyes, making John melt instantly. He gave a sigh, thinking for once of what the future might hold; what the consequences would be.

“There's bound to be a talk tomorrow,” John said, carefully choosing his wording on the phrase. There would be a talk, it's not as if he was lying to the other, however, if John knew anything about his father it wouldn't be much of an open discussion. More of a screaming match where the opponent is not allowed to speak.

Alex seemed to understand even though he didn't mention anything to lead him there. He wrapped his arms around John's waist, pulling his nearer so that John couldn't look away. John couldn't help but think of how nicely they melded together as if they had been made to do the exact thing. Though he wasn't much taller John could picture how easily he could rest his chin on Alex’s head so that the other’s face burrowed into his neck. He wondered how long they could stay like that as if they were one instead of two and could fully understand each other’s thoughts.

“Think of my lifelong sorrow.” Alex seemed to move nearer with each word, pressing his chest against John's so that he had to crane his neck to look at him properly.

John’s mind was moving too fast, his thoughts jumping through ideas and words, so he couldn't exactly blame himself when he commented in the middle of Alex’s sentence, “At least there’ll be plenty implied.” A conversation he would potentially have with his father had flitted through his mind, raising his nerves once again. His father could never possibly find out what exactly John was up to on that night, therefore, he couldn't state any facts, however, he could give plenty implications of what he believed happened. John supposed he also wouldn't dare say aloud that his son was gay as that would be a scandal that could ruin his political career. 

“If you got pneumonia and died.” Alex finished with a cheesy smile spreading his lips that John couldn't help but return even through his apprehension. John paused for a moment, looking back at the door behind them, even though the thought of leaving seemed awful far away now. 

“I really can't stay,” John drug out the words, practically begging Alex to change his mind, to just give him just one more reason to turn his back and run. When nothing came John peeled his eyes off his last chance at exiting and drew in a deep breath. Alex seemed to watch him carefully awaiting his final decision to know if he was to pull away for good or not. Suddenly John shook his head, curls waving on his shoulders and smiled down at Alex. “But baby, it's cold.”

Before John had taken another breath Alex’s lips were pressing against his own and he gave a contented sigh. It was easy, the way their lips folded against each other without much effort, hands clasping at any material they could reach. For their state, the kiss was softer than it should have been, but neither dared to rush the moment they had been longing for all night. John could feel Alex’s hair falling down against his nose and he pushed the piece back blindly with his fingers, running them through the rest of his locks. Alex whined slightly against his lips and softly pulled back so they were only inches apart. John was breathing heavily, the sound finding its place above the noise of the scratched record as he looked back at Alex’s pink tinted features. He smirked up at John, twisting a curl between two fingers and kissed his cheek.

“Baby it's cold outside.”

**Author's Note:**

> Wowie that ended up being a lot longer than I thought it was going to but I hope you all enjoyed! If you have any questions just comment down below! This is my first fic I have written in a long time so I'm still a bit rusty. Thank you very much for reading and I hope you enjoy this holiday season, or if you don't celebrate, I hope you enjoy your next few weeks!


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